Through My Father's Eyes

Yesterday was Mother's Day and would have been the 108th birthday of my Grandmother Hatch. Hard to believe that 33 years have gone by since she died. Seems like yesterday but I was pregnant with my daughter Stephanie when she died and Stephanie is already 32. That can't be possible either. 

My dad, Jim Hatch, was asked to speak at his church service yesterday morning, in honor of mothers, and he gave the most wonderful talk. I wanted to share it with you because it really tells a lot about his mom and my grandmother, Ola Mae Marley Hatch, from his perspective. (High School Revisited will return next blog.)

"Mother's Day 2015 - By Jim Hatch

I am an only child so I guess you would have to say that my mother spoiled me a bit. We never discussed why I didn't have a brother or sister...maybe a medical problem, financial decision, who knows but it sure made my life lonely sometimes. Luckily I had a lot of good friends in the neighborhood that became my "brother and sisters".

My mom started back to work when I was about 4 years old. She and her sister had started out in the 20's working for a telephone company and my mom went back into the telephone business, finally retiring in the 70's with 39 years of service. She loved her work...she loved the people she worked with and they loved her.  She was outgoing, funny, caring and always there when you needed a shoulder to cry on.

My grandmother lived in the apartment house we owned and lived in.  Grandma had her own apartment and she was my baby sitter for many years.  And I grew to love her almost as much as my mom.  But mom was special.  She worked, cleaned house and cooked, did laundry and all the other things housewives did and yet she worked outside the home.  She often walked to work because she said it helped her hold down her weight, which from time to time would start to plump her up a bit more than she liked.

Mom never left the house to go to work, or some other place, without dressing up.  Her hair had to be perfect and she selected the correct dress, jewelry, shoes and handbag all complimenting each other.  People often commented on how nice she looked.  She and my dad, a dark, wavy haired six footer, made a handsome couple when they did one of their favorite things in life...dance.  They glided across the floor and everyone watched.  

Mom began to fail when she lost my dad, who was only 61, when he succumbed to lung cancer. At about the same time, mom had cataract surgery and in those days you had to wear what I call the "coke bottle glasses" because the lens were so thick...if she did not have her glasses on, she could not see anything.  Also, she knew it was time to retire and so, with the loss of my dad, her vision problem, and her retirement all coming in close proximity, she seemed to change a bit.  Just a tiny bit at first but as the years went on, it was evident that a rest home was the only answer to her full-time care.

She lived the last 8 years of her life in a rest home where everyone loved her and her friends and family could visit...they noticed her decline as Alzheimer's began to accelerate. 

Whenever I would go home on leave, she would dote on me and almost ignore her grandkids and daughter-in-law because she wanted her only child to be all hers for as much time as we had.  Of course, my wife's family lived nearby, so I had to spend time with them as well, and I don't think Mom ever really accepted that.

She loved Glen Campbell's show, she loved to shop, she loved to visit her family, way up in Siler City, North Carolina...a whole 45 miles away...but it could have been a hundred miles the way she talked about the long trip.  In the early years, it was almost an all day trip by bus, which we took together many times.  

My dad had a variety of jobs: A & P Manager, Civil Service and Volunteer Fireman, Grocery Store Employee, his own roofing company, but regardless of what he did, mom was always supportive but knew two salaries were better than one and, she knew her job was pretty steady and secure.

I loved my mom and she adored me.  She has been gone 33 years and I still think about her often.  Every time I go back to my hometown, I go to the cemetery to visit her and dad, side by side, in Mt. Hope Cemetery.  

Dad with Grandma,
when he was a little tyke.  

Someone once said that they are not gone because they are there to slip into your thoughts by day and tip toe into your dreams by night.  My mom is still very much with me...and guess what...today is not only Mother's Day, but it is also my Mom's birthday, May 10th. Happy Birthday Mom...I love you.

Today's Terri's Tidbit: Do you have favorite stories and memories of your parents or grandparents?  What were they? Take a moment and write them down.  If you are lucky enough to still have your parents and grandparents living, make some new memories that you can hold close to your heart, for a very long time. 

Ola Mae, "The Hello Girl"

James Vernon Hatch, my father, was best friends with Jimmy Barber, my mom’s boyfriend, who died on her sixteenth birthday. Dad knew mom before this happened, not only through Jimmy but also through a mutual friend. Dad had dated one of mom’s good friends, Martha, for three years. So it was only natural that he would stop by to give his condolences to my mom, after Jimmy passed away.

Dad was grieving. When the accident happened, Jimmy was away at school and dad was in basic training for the Air Force, in San Antonio. No one wanted to tell him about the accident because they knew how upset he would be. When he got home, he went to see my mom. She knew the pain he was experiencing.

After that, my dad was off to Wyoming for Tech School and they talked on the phone several times. He told me that she wrote him everyday and signed the letters, “Your little sister”. He returned to North Carolina later in 1955 with orders to go to Saudi Arabia and they started dating. They dated almost every night before he left. He got to Saudi and decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with mom. So he bought a ring, sent it to his parent’s house with a note asking her to marry him. His mom and dad, Ola Mae and Plinny Hatch, had mom over for dinner and during the evening, gave her the note and the ring. They got married in September 1956.

Until two weeks ago, I had no idea that this is how my dad proposed. I never thought to ask. I am very blessed to still have dad around and am now taking time to ask him questions about his growing up years. Something I should have done with my mom. He was more than willing to help me out in my quest to find out more about our family. Here are some of the things I learned.

Little Jimmy Hatch was a personable kid. He was an only child and grew up in several different places. He was born in Charlotte, NC on November 13, 1935. The family didn’t live there long before they moved to the town of Wilson, Wilson County, NC, and lived there for about 4 years. They may have lived in Whiteville for a period of time but they eventually moved to Southern Pines and remained there. 

My Dad and his mom, Ola Mae

His mother, Ola Mae Marley was born in Lee County, North Carolina on May 10, 1907 to James Rupert and Bessie Frieda Thomas Marley. She graduated from Goldston High School in 1925. Two years prior to that, her and her sister went to work for a small independent telephone office. Her sister, the only other operator, worked the day shift from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Ola Mae worked the 4 to 9:00 p.m. In an interview for the Sandhill Citizen Newspaper on May 13, 1971, she said, “Our equipment consisted of a one-position switchboard. When you received a call (which wasn’t often) there was a little buzz, and a little lid affair opened and when you answered, this would close. To ring a number, you had to turn a crank.” [1] When I was in college, I worked the switchboard at the dorm I lived in.  When I first started working there, they still had the old PBX system where you plugged in to the different switches and manually rang the phones.  I loved that job and could see why my grandma enjoyed it for so many years.  Thank goodness, though, we have come a long way with our telephones.

In 1927 her parents moved to Sanford so she boarded with a local Goldston family, continuing to work. Later that year, Central Carolina Company bought their office. Ola said, “I was bought along with it and moved to Siler City.” [2]

Her sister moved to Southern Pines, NC and liked it, so she convinced Ola to move there too, in 1930. They were putting the phone systems into Pinehurst and it kept her busy, which she liked. She stayed there until her marriage to Plinny Vernon Hatch on April 23, 1933. They moved several places with Plinny’s job but were in Charlotte in November of 1935, when my dad was born.

They moved back to Southern Pines in 1939 and one of the employees at the telephone company went to Plinny’s job to sound him out as to whether he thought Ola might return to work. She thought about it and decided she could do the job and still not be away from her son too much. In 1945, just six years after starting in that office, she became a supervisor.

She loved her job. She continued to be a Supervisor up until the day she retired in 1971. United Telephone Company of the Carolinas had bought the company, at that point.

The company gave her a great retirement party. She received a beautiful watch, set with diamonds, and lots of gifts from those she worked with. One of the gifts required some of her coworkers to sneak into her home and take measurements over her mantel to make sure they got the right size, gold-framed mirror, with matching candle holders. Many of her family were able to come in for the festivities, which was an added treat.

Grandpa and Grandma Hatch at her retirement party.

She had many plans for her retirement. Her and my grandpa had bought a house three years before and she was looking forward to working in the garden and spending time with friends.

Her memories of working for the telephone company inspired her to write a little poem. Here is what she wrote:

The telephone girls in the days of old

Had the number to crank and the mouthpiece to hold.

They’d wade through ice or sleet or snow –

Their job was important, as we all should know.

She worked through tears, she worked through smiles,

She connected voices for many miles.

My Grandma, Ola Mae, was known for her smile. And if you really wanted to see her light up, just be around when her son would walk into the room. The Air Force had kept my family a long way from North Carolina, so every moment that she was able to spend with him was precious to her. She loved her son and said numerous times (even in the newspapers) how proud she was of his service in the military. She always looked forward to having him home.

Today's Terri's Tidbit:  If you shop at Walmart, you need to download their Savings Catcher app.  It has the ability to scan your shopping receipt, check local prices to see if something was cheaper elsewhere and if so, they credit you the amount.  Instead of running from store to store to get the best price, it does the work for you and you get money back, if their competitor has a better price.  

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[1][2] Nicholson, V. (1971, May 13).  Mrs. Ola Hatch Retires From Telephone Work After Many Years. The Sandhill Citizen, p. 3